a woman gasps

I climb over the fence at West Cliff to get to my favorite spot and a woman gasps, I wonder if she thinks I’m
going to jump off of it like maybe I decided to bring my favorite purse and a water bottle filled with cola to
my death. She probably doesn’t know that Cameron killed himself by jumping off the cliffs a few miles
further down the coast but I wonder if maybe she does know, and if maybe she also missed his call on
purpose two days before he died (or at least before they found his body) and regrets not answering because
now she’s also stuck with a voicemail asking to talk because he was having a hard time, I wonder if she also
missed this call because he called like this often and every time she answered it hurt and she didn’t have the
energy to help him that time. I wonder if she blames herself for not saving him even though he talked about
killing himself all the time and every time I, I mean she, tried to help. I mean I knew he was going to kill
himself, I mean I didn’t really know but hindsight is a bitch and when he said he was living this week like it
was his last I made plans with him for the next week and the week after and that’s what you’re supposed to
do, I did what I was supposed to do and he still killed himself. I saw someone who looked like him on
Monday and I almost cried while driving home but I didn’t, I just tried to catch my breath until I did and I
wonder what it looked like when they found him, his body I mean, and I wonder who found it. I wonder if
they thought he had just fallen, I mean the cliffs don’t have fences there, I wonder if he did fall before he meant to jump or if he regretted it on the way down or if he drove his car there, I hope he drove. He always talked about how much he enjoyed driving, he had just put on new brake pads.

MYCAH MILLER

Mycah Miller is a California-based poet, artist, motorcyclist, and student. She currently attends San Jose State University as an English major. Her work has been featured in shows and publications nationwide such as Vagabond City Lit, The Berkeley Slam, West Trade Review, and more. Find her work @MycahMillerArt.