By the Wayside / Public Health update, September 2023 

doctors say  
                  it’s true that folks 
                   like me  
may have to fall  
by the way- 
side 

shame 
for I would have liked  
to have stayed  

a while longer here  
with my books 
and scraps of colored paper 

and my X-Acto knife and glue sticks 
and bottles of matte varnish and crowded jars  
of paint brushes 

the framed maps of places I’ve been 
and some I hadn’t gotten to yet 
my Estonian knitwear 
and my collection of sea glass from the Jersey shore 

I would have liked to have taken a few more tromps  
through the dry leaves in the back woods  
with my dog  
who never comes when I call her 
unless I say peanut butter or cheese  
neither of which can technically    
be considered commands 

my husband and his good hands and the way 
he makes me laugh  
I will miss all that 
and our arguments about fossil fuels  
and all the stuff in the garage 

and my children oh so beautiful 
and strong      older now 
they won’t need me much 
but still I’d like to have seen them grow into themselves 

I would have liked a few more years of Thanksgivings at my sister’s 
flickering candles folded linens and glasses of sparkling cider 
so many good people milling  
about and multiplying  
like the desserts— 

I would have liked to spend  
another afternoon on the beach with my beloved 
or had another chance  
to make my mother laugh 

there was so much more I wanted to understand  

so when it happens 
      when I fall  
by the way- 
side 

(which apparently is only to be expected) 

             most likely you won’t find me sitting  
in my comfortable chair  
the next morning  
with my cup of tea  
looking out the window  
just thinking 

I suppose I will miss laughter the most 
and the birds  

toasted rye bread 
lavender soap
root beer floats 

and the soft blue  
of the hydrangea 
after the rains have passed. 

SUSAN BARRY-SCHULZ

Susan Barry-Schulz grew up just outside of Buffalo, New York. Her work has appeared in SWWIM, Shooter Literary Magazine, Bending Genres, B O D Y, the Leon Literary Review, the West Trestle Review, Stone Canoe, Heron Tree, and many other print and online journals and anthologies.